Astrosmash review

Smashing just isn’t as fun as it used to be.

1981’s Astrosmash is one of the irrefutable gems in the Intellivision library. Created by John Sohl, the game delivered an engaging combination of Space Invaders and Asteroids, as a lone ship moved across the bottom of the screen, targeting a storm of plummeting meteors. It soon became a pack-in for Mattel Electronics’ console, ensuring its status as one of the system’s top-selling titles. Given that the property has rarely been revisited across 41 years (Astrosmash Gen2 disappeared with PlayStation Home) it’s an ideal candidate for modernization.

And that’s exactly what happened after Tommy Tallarico purchased the rights to the Intellivison brand. Announced at a title for the still unreleased Amico, a long overdue update to Astrosmash promised cooperative play for up to four participants. While the status of the Amico is uncertain, a remastered Astrosmash is now available on PC, Switch, and Xbox. Unfortunately, there’s little reason for celebration.

Shoot Everything, Including Power-Ups

If you’re a fan of the original game, 2023’s Astrosmash makes some bewildering changes. Yes, you still control a ship on the bottom of the screen that uses lasers to shatter falling rocks, which occasionally split into smaller fragments. Now, there are temporary power-ups that range from rapid-fire, shielding, a plasma weapon beam, and even a nuke that destroys everything on screen. Just like the original game, you’ll lose points every time one of these meteors hits the ground and a life if anything collides with your ship.

Likewise, Astrosmash starts as a slow simmer, and you’ll need little more than a pulse to avoid getting a game over screen for the first fifteen minutes. 1981’s Astrosmash turned up the heat with enemy bombs. These munitions descended from the top of the screen, emitting a loud wail as they spun around menacingly, like a pinwheel taped to a hand grenade. Success required keeping your cool, as you dodged tumbling rocks when trying to line up a kill shot. But four decades later, the bombs are gone, taking some of the game’s tension with them. As such, getting through this new Astrosmash’s ten stages is just as much a test of patience as it is a test of skill. And given the game’s fifteen-dollar price tag, it’s disheartening that the original game isn’t included.

No Pausing while Smashing

Players without nostalgic feelings for the 1981 game will wonder what the fuss is all about. When compared to many of today’s shooters, Astrosmash might feel like a relic, lacking essentials like leaderboards or even a pause button. Occasionally, the game has the kind of blemishes that reveal a lack of beta testing. How did the developers not notice how your lasers don’t always line up with your ship?

Yes, a few of the new changes are welcome. Instead of frantically jumping into hyperspace, your ship can perform a fast slide to get out of an imminent collision or wipe out a UFO- one of the game’s new enemy types. And intermittently, Astrosmash comes close to impressing, as a shower of rocks tumbles in time to the music, resembling a fireworks show. But other additions are disappointingly half-hearted, such as the game’s uninspired boss fights that don’t offer variety. I would have liked to test the game’s online connectivity, but I didn’t see a single person online. I did start a game with a friend who typically likes classic shooters, but after a few minutes he wanted to play something else.

Conclusion

Whether with a trio of friends or just playing solo, a run through Astrosmash takes about 45 minutes and presents a modest amount of challenge. You’ll witness a brief cutscene, before being told to repeat the trek once more. That kind of Sisyphean task just doesn’t cut it in 2023, especially when accompanied by only the slightest improvements.