Jurassic Lark- Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter Review

I love dinosaurs, but then again I think you’d be hard pressed to find a 25 year old man that dislikes dinosaurs. It’s no big surprise that videogames about dinosaurs would be a no brainer – I mean, they’re powerful and dangerous, there is very little work to be done on the creature creation side and we all know what dinosaurs are and where they came from, so there is no convoluted back story to tell. However, somewhere down the line, “dinosaur game” has become synonymous with “lackluster game” Given that the Playstation Mini lineup has been disproportionately lackluster from the word “go,” one can safely assume that a PlayStation Mini about dinosaurs would not only lack luster, but actively try to consume luster from outside sources. Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter lives up to these expectations.

Once Carnivore is booted up, you are asked to choose a location, a weapon and a dinosaur to hunt. Maybe “choose” isn’t the right word here, since there are no options available in the beginning: you will select the island setting and you will select a pistol, since those are the only options, but you can choose from a small handful of herbivores to chase after. Although each mission is filled with dinosaurs, you only get points for bagging the prey selected at the start of the game.  This is important, because the points are used to unlock new weapons, areas, ammo and new types of dinosaurs. If you waste all of your ammo shooting at every reptile you see, you won’t earn any points and will have to start all over again.

Headshots for for wussies. I like to toy with my prey.

Once you are all equipped, you are dropped on an island and asked to…well, it doesn’t really ask you to do anything.  You just wander around aimlessly and hope that you run into a dinosaur.  Full disclosure: my father never had time to take me dinosaur hunting when I was young, so perhaps I am missing out on some hyper-realistic tracking system that seasoned dino hunters would understand, but I meandered for what felt like an eternity before I came across the Dilophosaurus I was looking for. I passed other miniature thunder lizards while I searched, but had to avoid them, since I ammo was at a premium. When I finally caught up to my prey, I fired a single, wholly unsatisfying shot from my pistol, and it was dead. A UFO flew overhead and took it away, and I collected a whopping 10 points. That is about as exciting as things get.

I won’t say that Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter fails in every aspect, but it comes awfully close. The controls attempt to mimic console-style dual-stick FPS controls by moving with the face buttons and aiming with the analog stick.  In the five years since the PSP launched, I have never heard anyone say “I love it when they shoehorn these garbage twin-stick mechanics into PSP games.”  Firing is a chore, as you have to draw your weapon with the left trigger, then fire with the right trigger, and then remember to holster your weapon in order to run. Add the fact that each of the 8 weapons sounds like a cheap toy, and you have yourself one of the least satisfying shooting experiences I’ve ever been party to.  The locations are drab and boring and look like they were built in the Quake engine. They are quite large, but the dull, empty scenery offers no incentive to exploring the endless, barren plains.

Don’t worry; I do have some nice things to say about Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter. During my extensive time with the game, it didn’t crash once, and I suppose in this day and age, that’s almost an accomplishment. Also, there is an interactive trophy room, which taunts PlayStation fans by reminding them of the unfulfilled promises of PlayStation Home’s trophy room. I suppose the game is only $3, but I can’t help but suggest that money would be better spent on three better 99 cent games for your cell phone.