Leave a Caption, Get ‘Spanked’

Photo of Robert Allen Robert AllenJuly 12, 2010
112 2,023 Less than a minute

To celebrate the release of DeathSpank, the comical action-role playing game from Ron Gilbert (Maniac Mansion, The Secret of Monkey Island), were inviting our readers to get spanked. Like many forms of corporal punishment, provocation delightfully simple- all readers have to do is create a caption for the screenshot shown above. In keeping with the game’s Teen rating, please avoid anything too vulgar, lest you find out what our next level of reprimand holds.

We’ll be choosing two winners (one for the Xbox 360 and one for the Playstation 3) when we record our next podcast, which should be live on July 22nd, 2010. Good luck to all!

Photo of Robert Allen Robert AllenJuly 12, 2010
112 2,023 Less than a minute
Photo of Robert Allen

Robert Allen

Since being a toddler, Robert Allen has been immersed in video games, anime, and tokusatsu. Currently, his days are spent teaching at two southern California colleges. But his evenings and weekends are filled with STGs, RPGs, and action titles and well at writing for Tech-Gaming since 2007.

112 Comments

  2. Damnit, my sole weakness is the Justin Bieber attack. How could these dogs have known?

  7. Go ahead keeping playing that song. You’ll soon be OFF key and ON life support.

  12. “All right, they’re on our left, they’re on our right, they’re in front of us, and they’re behind us.. They can’t get away this time! ” – A USMC quote that seemed appropriate here. =O

  13. A Trumpet? I shall block the sound with my chest! Surrounded!? Hm… Think you’ve got the advantage now!? Ha ha ha!

  14. “The devil went down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal, I play the best trumpet you have ever heard”

  15. Semper Fi! Woo-hoo

    “You can burn my Woman at the stake, you can play loud music, but don’t you ever disrespect the USA”

  16. When a group of midgets has ganged up on you always trust your handy dandy trumpet man to save the day.

  19. *Looks over at man playing the trumpet* Wow, now I know why these little guys are so aggressive…

  22. See the guy with the glowing hands, he took the last twinkie! Lets get him boys!

  29. “This right here is tha new joint. Throw ya swords up in the air, and wave ’em like you just don’t care. Cause we like the ladies who don’t wear no underwear”

  31. “I block your trumpet attack with my grumpy old man shield, now face the wrath of my moon-faced companion!”

  37. I have ogres to the left of me and trumpets to the right-here I am stuck in the middle with you!

  38. Pion, your playing has no effect on me. My resistance has been increased by WiiMusic.

  39. “OK, that’s it! Could you guy’s please just pawn your swords and buy Gaga some normal threads?!?”

  41. As soon as this monstrous bellhop quits tooting his own horn, I – DEATHSPANK – will administer punishing justice to this horde of Quasimoto’s!

  42. And thus, Lady Gaga was immortalized in the annals of video game history in her true form…

  45. Your about two seconds away from learning why this game is called DeathSpank!

  47. Lousy agent. “Easiest gold you’ll ever make” he says. “Put some hurt on the Pied Piper and his little mice, great publicity with little risk” he says. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted anyone who glows!

    He and I are going to have a serious discussion later…

  50. “It was at this point in time that Death Spank thought to himself what was more annoying the music or the escort mission he accepted….”

  51. – You thought that I wouldn’t come prepared against your Vuvuzela of Death, ha!
    – BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    – AAAAAAARRRGH!

    Any version is ok, although I would prefer the PSN version, thank you!

  57. We’ll the native aren’t completely hostile. They’re playing some supper music. Shit, maybe we ARE the dinner!

  58. NO NOT THE d’s! NOT THE d’s! AHHHHHHH THEY’RE IN MY EYES! THEY’RE IN MY EYES! AHHHH GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHGGggagadsduhg

  59. Mr. Spank, you think this would be a good time to drop the hammer?

    WELL WHATTYA WAITING FOR?!?

  63. Lebron, why did you have to go ahead and choose the Heat? Now the Cavaliers are coming to kill us.

    Xbox 360.

  67. “One of these things is not like the other, one of these things isn’t the same…” – 360 🙂

  68. Being attacked by a magical trumpet?
    -Easily guarded.

    Surrounded by more than 20 enemies?
    -Just a few swings of the sword.

    Having an eccentric purple wizard named Sparkles as a sidekick?
    -Priceless.

  69. Getting attacked by a magical trumpet?
    -Easily guarded.

    Being surrounded by over 20 enemies?
    -Just a few swings of the sword.

    Having an eccentric purple wizard named Sparkles as your sidekick?
    -Priceless.

    (Xbox 350 if I win please! Thank you for giving me the chance at this giveaway!)

  70. Sorry that I posted twice, I forgot to mention which console first and I thought that I had stopped the page in time to not submit the comment.

  71. “The wish of a soccer fan – showing up in armed forces to shun the vuvuzela players”

    I’ll take a ps3.

  74. Prince (left) and Kenny G (right) battle to determine whether the internet lives… or dies! Will glitter and overpowering sexual magnetism triumph over smooth jazz??

  76. It was all fun and games until some of the locals decided to dress up like the Village People.

  82. Okay…how’s about I give you my purple friend here, and you stop waving pointy things at me?

    PSN

  86. I pick up the game very other year. I’m still playing NCAA 10, so I’ll wait for 12 or a deal on 11.

  87. “Sorry Guys. I guess I take the wrong turn earlier on. I didn’t know I would end up in the disco… but anymway let’s move that thong” 😉

  90. “Vile creature, that tune shall be played on the day of your funeral. Funny, that day is today! Have at thee!”
    XBLA

  91. Forgot to mention I’d prefer the XBLA version on the off chance I win.

    Thanks guys~

  94. “As the ages passed, Mick and Keith began to grow weary of the swordplay before every performance. Now, they’re just content to open with ‘Start Me Up.'”

    (360)

  97. ‘Let’s play “musical spanks”! All of you get in a circle around me and I spank all of you. When the music stops, whoever isn’t spanked moves on to the next round. Then we do it again until only two remain! The person I don’t spank out of the two of you wins. What do you win? A spanking!’

  98. I was told this was the place to come for quiet reflection and tranquil meditation!!!

  100. “In Deathspank’s world, first you get the money, then you get the power, THEN you get the women. That is, unless you get side tracked by the Trumpeter’s lullaby and never quite make it past level 10. The world may be yours…or not.”

  103. Well at least this is better than the Lady Gaga concert that I accidentally went to.

    PSN

  105. You are doing it all wrong. Turn the trumpet around and play it.

    If I win, I would like the code for my PS3

  109. “These knob goblins and their tooting overload are no match for my purple monkey dishwasher of justice!!!”

  110. Aiieee! This is a fate worse than death…a tone death trumpeter and his projectile spittle!

    PSN

  111. Here’s the plan…I turn tail and run while you vanquish the horn tooting evil overlord and his cronies!

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