Terror of Hemasaurus review

When it comes to the joys of wanton destruction and acerbic humor, Terror of Hemasaurus has few rivals.

I never outgrew digital demolition. As an angsty kid, Bally-Midway’s Rampage was one of my favorite arcade games. For twenty-five cents, the game put players in control of either a mutant lizard, a gigantic gorilla, or an enormous werewolf who could reduce virtual cities to rubble. Even better, the trio could work cooperatively- at least until an accidental punch provoked a comical fight in the middle of all the chaos.

Thirty-six years after its original release, Rampage remains one of the best kaiju sims around. From climbing, kicking, and punching skyscrapers to swatting helicopters like houseflies, nearly every on-screen object could be ruined. Few games have duplicated the sheer thrill of destruction so skillfully.

As a feisty adult, the PC release of Terror of Hemasaurus renewed my passion for virtual vandalism. Like Rampage you’ll attack a procession of cities, each filled with a multitude of buildings to bust up and people to either kick, toss, or gobble up. The latter offers a way to regain health lost by the relentless assault of cops, soldiers, and shotgun-toting farmers. (Protip: eat the plump ones).

You can chomp on the diminutive heads that appear in windows or pick them up off the streets, tossing people in your mouth like popcorn. As soon as you do, you’ll perceive how Hemasaurus deviates from Brian Colin and Jeff Nauman’s classic coin-op.

Rampage’s action took place on an unseen lattice. Play the game enough and you will recognize how your kaiju scales entire floors of a building rather than inching their way up. The demolition of buildings felt like you were popping a grid of plastic wrap bubbles, rather than a more organic mockup of destruction, which was perfectly fine for 1986. But in 2022, that kind of control scheme might feel restrictive.

Terror of Hemasaurus’ four monsters aren’t locked onto cartesian coordinates, allowing the destruction to flow more freely. Now your creature automatically clings to a building after jumping and can move around the exterior of each tower freely. The change means that structures have physics modeling. Carve out the hole in one side and the entire building will bend and eventually topple over. If you set things up right, it’s possible to knock over a procession of skyscrapers like a massive string of dominoes. Occasionally, kicking a car can trigger some pleasing chain reactions, as well.

Tossing people around is nearly as gratifying. After scooping one up, a throw eliminates every other helpless human on its trajectory. Some levels even require you to perform a combo with a high body count before completing the stage. The only blemish is that aiming with the analog stick isn’t very exact. I’d love it if Terror of Hemasaurus went into slow motion and put an aiming indicator on the screen.

One other mechanic is each kaiju’s special ability. This ranges from the reverberating roar of the Hemasaurus, the Clocksloth’s time manipulation, the Salamandrah’s fire breathing, and the homing rockets of the mechanized Autonomous Hemasaurus. As you destroy each city, you’ll gradually fill your special gauge, and at discrete intervals, you’re able to unleash wanton fury. Adversity can quickly swell, with authorities filling the streets, and cops dangling from police helicopters. So, your special is essential when your creature’s health is waning and you need to reduce the incoming gunfire.

While Endless Destruction mode allows for pick-up-and-play devastation, Arcade Story Mode provides an impetus for all the sabotage. In following kaiju tradition, Terror of Hemasaurus’ storyline begins with humans causing grave environmental harm to the planet. During a debate between the irresponsible industrialist Richie Hoarderson and disregarded scientist Hans Pissemschaft, we see a kaiju encased in a polar ice cap break off and float away. Eventually, the creature emerges in front of the Church of the Holy Lizard, an ecoterrorist group hoping to teach humanity an important lesson.

Any worry game’s politics are too progressive should be quickly demised. This is a title that tasks you with tossing innocent civilians into helicopter rotors and pokes fun at animal rights activists, so offense is aimed across the political spectrum. And unlike a lot of games that desperately attempt to be funny, Hemasaurus offers genuine wit, a bit of self-deprecating humor from solo developer Loren Lemcke, and even an unexpected moment or two of introspection. Surprisingly, one of the game’s two endings is closer in spirit to the original Godzilla films than the King of the Monsters’ appearances in most American films.

Terror of Hemasaurus understands the need for catharsis. Not only does the game let you level cities and gulp down people, but the story assails targets like click-bait journalism, scheming capitalists, and dogmatic religious groups. Even game makers aren’t spared, making this a must-play title for anyone with a predisposition to misanthropy.

Terror of Hemasaurus was played on PC with review code provided by the publisher.