Trite and Titillation- Dead or Alive: Paradise Review

Players confused by Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love’s unlikely amalgamation of fighting robots and dating simulation might be utterly baffled by Dead or Alive: Paradise, which presents an even stranger gaming dichotomy. The two appeals found in the PSP title are so widely dissimilar, that the game seems unlikely to find an audience willing to explore Paradise’s widespread chasm.

Understandably, some will be drawn to the game’s lascivious tendencies. DOA: Paradise presents a hackneyed fantasy not far removed from late-night Cinemax fare, as a lush cluster of islands becomes a resort to a bevy of buxom debutantes, and a single rarely-seen male. Players choose one of ten perpetually under-dressed ladies to be their avatar, before they head poolside. There, gamers will make their first partnership, which with a healthy amount of nurturing, can lead to short cinematic of the two women taking turns playfully licking an ice cream cone.

I haven’t seen this many gratuitous crotch shots since Bayonetta.

With DOA: Paradise’s marketing campaign built around euphemisms for masturbation, it shouldn’t be surprising that the title’s is absorbed in the objectification of the hyper-realistic female body. Each protagonist frolics around the island for the player, with each dance or jog producing an unmistakable breast jiggle. Occasionally the shaking can be unintentionally humorous, like when a girl has one boob flopping enthusiastically, while the other is motionless.  Despite the sporadic quirk, the game’s attempts at creating a sense of tropical eroticism are efficacious, as players are inundated with copious amounts of flesh throughout their two-week island expedition.

Had this voyeuristic focus been consistent through the game, DOA: Paradise would have an undeniable pervy appeal. Yet, the game blends these amatory amusements with a large dose of shopping, girl talk, and gift giving that seems wholly incongruent with the title’s other demeanor. Calculating each girl’s fussy gift requirements or listening to the mundane conversations won’t be nearly as gratifying as ogling for many players. When fused together these dissimilar aesthetics seem as peculiar as advertisements for a new Barbie doll in an issue of Maxim.

Take solace in the game’s version of the “Deck of 52 Most Wanted” cards.

At least Paradise’s simplistic mini-diversions give the game a chance to exhibit its virtual vixens. Each day of the title’s two week retreat allows players to perform an activity in the morning, noon, and evening. At night, players have the option to visit the game’s casino, where unsophisticated versions of blackjack, slots, and poker allow players to supplement their finances. The title’s three main attractions are photography, beach volleyball and pool hopping- which consists on scurrying across a gathering of buoyant boards. Picture snapping is arguably the most interesting of the trio of diversions, as it saves each snapshot to the Memory Stick, allowing gamers to use the image as their PSP wallpaper.

Although the game’s island locales convey of sense of sunny vibrancy and the each of the girls animate fluidly, Paradise isn’t without its technical hitches. Foremost among these is the title’s frequent and extended load times which interrupt the flow of gameplay; nearly every amusement if bookended by a five to six second pause. Considering there’s relatively few on-screen objects moving simultaneously, the title’s framerate is usually solid, dipping only during two player volleyball matches.  

Dead or Alive: Paradise is a game of strange contradictions. One moment you’re a leering photographer, capturing provocative poses, the next you’re making idle chatter about what preferential gift wrap color. Gamers comfortable with both roles might get receive transitory fulfillment from Paradise, but I suspect most will prefer the gawking to the shopping.