Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef review

‘Oo iz ‘da stupid ‘umie responsible for dis krappy port?

‘Oo iz ‘da stupid ‘umie responsible for dis krappy port?

For the past 35 years, Warhammer 40,000 has imagined a persistently grim future. It’s a dystopia where the depravity of space elves gave birth to a chaos god while age-old, undead robots strive to annihilate all life in the galaxy. When it comes to the intensity of its lore, it’s probably one of the most repressive and violent universes ever envisioned.

But curiously, Warhammer 40K has embraced some darkly comic derivatives lately. Warhammer 40,000: Dakka Squadron – Flyboyz Edition was built around the concept of Orks taking their thirst for Waaagh (think enthusiastic genocide rather than just old standard war) to the skies. The result was the green tide emulating the aerial encounters of accessible dogfighters like Crimson Skies or Rogue Squadron.

The release of Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef offers yet another cartoonish interpretation of greenskin carnage. It all begins with a boss envious of your ork’s luxurious topknot. After stealing your hair, he unceremoniously boots you out of a fighter plane, landing you in the shanty-filled slums of Luteus Alpha. Expectedly, you want blood-spattered retribution.

Here, developer Rogueside (Guns, Gore and Cannoli and its sequel) leans on their experience with the run-and-gun genre. You’ll begin your run through the succinct three-hour campaign by selecting one of the four classes, each distinguished by their own melee weapon, throwable special, and passive ability. But whether you opt for the Beast Snagga’s homing bomb squig or the Weirdboy’s stun grenade-like shokka bomb, each greenskin plays fairly similarly.

Likely, you’ll be using Shootas, Blood & Teef’s generous arsenal of 20 different weapons to take down any Ork, Hummie, or monster stupid enough to get in your way. Rogueside doesn’t really attempt to balance the dakka. If you’re looking for an extra challenge, opt for a pistol over the overpowered, and reload-free flamethrower. Sure, if your green thumb is too heavy on the trigger, you’ll set yourself on fire. But controlled bursts can easily push you through the four-hour campaign. Beyond tossing grenades and bombs, you can cry out Waaagh. Here, you’ll dispense ammo at an augmented rate and not have to deal with reloading.

The twin-stick control scheme offers precision, allowing you to easily target enemies who often scamper for you from all directions thanks to a bit of auto-aim. But some stages are exasperatingly hard to read. The slums are overflowing with literal monster closets you can step inside. Sporadically, they act as hallways to other parts of the labyrinthine environments, which can be confusing.

But here’s the real deal-breaker: Shootas, Blood & Teef performs abysmally on the Switch. When enemies come pouring out, the framerate can drop to a sputtering crawl. The slowdown also afflicts the game’s signature moment. During boss fights, the heavy metal soundtrack becomes appropriately intensified but also adds an Ork vocal track, lamenting about greenskin devotions such as dakka and waaagh. But shoddy porting means the music becomes unintentionally distorted, ruining what should be a boisterous highlight.

But that’s hardly the only imperfection. The load time before reaching the main menu is so slow, I assumed my Switch soft-locked the first time I played the title. Bugs are painfully noticeable. From sound dropping out during the amusing cutscenes to not permitting players to progress after a frenzied battle, Shootas, Blood & Teef doesn’t seem like it was properly play-tested.

These issues are a shame because the title flaunts decent design and plenty of dakka. But when it comes to performance, a co-op game sporadically delivers some of the worst framerates in any commercial Switch title. Even the most devoted grimdark fan might want to seek this out on another platform. On Nintendo’s hardware, Shootas, Blood & Teef feels like stepping into a steaming pile of orkkrap.

Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef was played
on Switch with review code provided by the publisher.