Wrestlemania XXVIII: Man Vs. Machine

Wrestlemania, the showcase of the immortals. It’s the biggest event in pro-wrestling (also called sports-entertainment). Some of the most-anticipated matches of the year happen at Wrestlemania. The most-heated feuds reach their boiling-point. Championship titles are defended by the best in the WWE. After the end of a Wrestlemania, all eyes immediately focus on the next. Hence the phrase, “Wrestlemania: where it all begins again”.

This year, we will be treated to a card that is one of the biggest ever. In a match that could best be described as “future legend vs. legend”, we have John Cena going toe-to-toe with The Rock, one of the most recognizable stars in wrestling history. Will it only happen once in a lifetime? Speaking of legends, “The Game” HHH gets one last shot at The Undertaker’s 19-0 Wrestlemania winning streak in a Hell In A Cell match that will be refereed by “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels, the man that The Undertaker retired two years ago at Wrestlemania XXVI. Two Ring Of Honor graduates walk into Wrestlemania holding the WWE Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship. Defending the WWE Championship this year is the outspoken C.M. Punk, taking on first ballot Hall of Famer, “Y2J” Chris Jericho in a match to determine who really is “the best in the world”. 2012 Royal Rumble winner, “The Great White” Sheamus, looks to taste WWE gold again by facing the World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan. After relentlessly mocking The Big Show for losing (or not even wrestling) at almost every Wrestlemania since debuting in 1999, Cody Rhodes, the son of WWE Hall of Famer, “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes, looks to keep his WWE Intercontinental Championship firmly around his waist. Managerial powers will be on the line in an epic 12-man tag team match pitting six representatives of Raw General Manager, John Laurinaitis, against six WWE Superstars of Smackdown General Manager, Theodore Long’s choosing. In a grudge match, “The Apex Predator” Randy Orton takes on “The Big Red Monster” Kane to end their feud. In a Tag Team Triple Threat match, Primo and Epico will be defending their WWE Tag Team Championships against the brand new team of Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd and The Usos. Lastly, WWE Diva, Kelly Kelly teams up with Extra and Dancing With The Stars’ Maria Menounos to take on the WWE Divas champion, “The Glamazon” Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres.

What brings us here today is a challenge between man and machine. Who or what can predict more correct outcomes at Wrestlemania XXVIII? In the human corner will be Tech-Gaming and machines will be represented by the Xbox 360 version of THQ’s WWE ’12 video game. However, since a couple of Wrestlemania participants are not officially a part of WWE ’12, not all matches will be a part of our competition. All matches will be simulated (CPU versus CPU, no humans) on the hardest difficulty with default A.I. and damage settings. And now, let the challenge begin!

Big Show Vs. Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes

Blue: Big Show – Cody has been poking fun at Show’s disappointing Wrestlemania appearances over the years (Woooo!), so I’m inclined to think that the big guy will finally get his big Wrestlemania moment.

DesertEagle: Cody Rhodes –Blue makes a good point, it seems the WWE’s been foreshadowing an upset for far too long. Still, it could be a red herring. If Rhodes loses this one, his credibility would be in serious jeopardy. I can’t bet against a guy who has The Legend of Zelda’s Triforce on his boots.

WWE ’12 Simulation: Big Show – Cody dominated the early part of the match. Big Show finally got some momentum going after backdropping a charging Rhodes. The match would later spill outside of the ring and Cody delivered the Alabama Slam on the floor. Big Show responded with his knock-out punch finisher for a near count out on the Intercontinental champion. Even a vicious DDT wasn’t enough to stop the giant from successfully pinning Rhodes. New Intercontinental champion.

Kane Vs. Randy Orton

Blue: Randy Orton – Kane has been on a warpath after returning with his mask. Since losing to John Cena at Elimination Chamber in an Ambulance Match, though, the fires of The Big Red Monster haven’t been burning quite as brightly as usual. I’m fully expecting Orton to take advantage of this.

DesertEagle: Kane – Sure, it’s been done before, but I would have loved to have seen another poignant Undertaker/Kane. A Kane/Orton match just doesn’t have the same intensity. Still, I think it’s time for Kane to make a heel turn, and a win could turn up the flames for future bouts.

WWE ’12 Simulation: Kane – Kane started things off with a headbutt to the back of Randy’s head followed by a powerslam. A big boot sends Orton from the ring apron to ringside. Kane then threw Orton against the crowd barrier and hit him with another headbutt. Back-to-back powerslams by Orton are capped off with a DDT on The Big Red Monster. Kane calls for the chokeslam, but Randy counters it and hits an RKO and begins his comeback. Kane counters a second attempted RKO and hits a chokeslam moments later. A modified backbreaker would be among the last moves The Viper would suffer before Kane scores the three count.

Sheamus Vs. World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan

Blue: Sheamus – I’d like to see Bryan retain the title, but my gut is telling me Sheamus. He could use a big win like this more. The last time he held one of the two big championships was back in 2010. I believe this drought ends with the crowning of a new World Heavyweight champion.

DesertEagle: Sheamus – The man’s been gathering some serious momentum since an impressive win at last January’s Royal Rumble. I expect the Celtic Warrior to take the belt home this weekend.

WWE ’12 Simulation: Sheamus – Bryan and Sheamus exchange counters and strikes before Sheamus hits a Celtic Cross. After a few failed attempts at regaining control of the match, Bryan takes a fallaway slam from The Great White. Momentum constantly shifts back-and-forth. The match ends with Sheamus hitting the Irish Curse Backbreaker followed by the High Cross/Outsider’s Edge. New World Heavyweight champion.

HHH Vs. The Undertaker – Hell In A Cell w/ Shawn Michaels as Referee

Blue: Undertaker –  HHH pounded Undertaker to the point where he had to be stretchered out of the arena last year. This time, I believe the Demon from Death Valley will send return the favor. As for HBK, I’ll eat my old, dusty, dirty, Undertaker action figure if the streak ends in a screw-job finish. 20-0.

DesertEagle: Undertaker – Think about this for a second: The Undertaker’s twenty-eight year professional career is lengthier that the history of console wrestling games. While Triple H is going to make Undertaker pay for that humiliating Hell’s Gate tapout, he won’t be able to overpower the WWE’s undefeated deadman.

WWE ’12 Simulation: Undertaker – Undertaker comes out swinging and manages to hit a chokeslam in the first 15 seconds of the match. HHH and The Undertaker swap submission holds before Undertaker puts an end to them with a running bulldog. HHH responds with a piledriver on The Deadman. A quick kick into a DDT floors The Game. The Undertaker goes for The Last Ride, but HHH counters it. A thunderous Tombstone Piledriver by the Undertaker only nets a two count. HHH hits his comeback combination ending with his signature facebuster. HHH goes for the Pedigree, but it is countered. Undertaker then tries for another Tombstone, but it, too, is countered. The Game finally hits the Pedigree for a long two count. The Undertaker hits a side Russian legsweep counter to get the victory. The Streak extends to 20-0.

John Cena Vs. The Rock

Blue: John Cena – He may only have four moves, but he’s at the top of his game. The same can’t be said about The Rock. Rocky has hardly wrestled in the last seven years. Even though Miami is his hometown, I just can’t see Cena losing this one. If this truly is “once in a lifetime”, the company guy needs to go over.

DesertEagle: The Rock – It’s a bit hard to root for either of these cinematic heels. Between Cena’s The Marine and Johnson’s Doom, both men of are guilty of performing a figurative forearm drop on their loyal fans. But, if pressed- I’m pulling for The Rock. A win would likely prolong his stint back in the WWE, sparing us from enduring Tooth Fairy2.

WWE ’12 Simulation: John Cena – A short exchanging of strikes results in The Rock hitting a floatover neckbreaker. Rock gets hammered with a running clothesline and a gutwrench suplex by Cena. John’s running shoulder block is countered into the Samoan Drop. Cena dusts off the Throwback. John hits his fisherman suplex and promptly scores with the 5-Knuckle Shuffle. The Rock gets up and Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Rock counters it into a reverse DDT. Rock goes for the Rock Bottom, but Cena counters it into the AA for a two count. A kick by The Rock is countered by Cena, who taunts him with a “you can’t see me” hand wave before drilling him with a right hand. The Rock is bloodied by a second Throwback. The Rock takes a quick breather on the outside before returning to the ring where a waiting Cena unsuccessfully attempts another AA. Rock hits the Rock Bottom, immediately goes for a second one, but gets countered into the AA. Rock counters Cena’s ground grapple and begins to lay the smackdown. Cena punches back before flattening The Rock with a running clothesline for the victory.

And there you have it. That’s what both, Tech-Gaming and WWE ’12 think will happen this Sunday at WWE Wrestlemania XXVIII. How will the actual event turn out?